Happy Birthday, little love!

I recently spent one of my nights covering the four walls of Everly's new room with the sweetest shade of pink. I caught myself getting teary eyed in the process. Not that me crying randomly isn't out of the norm (Reece could attest to that). But because my imagination ran a little farther than I could handle, emotionally. Everly will dream of her wedding in that room. She will get ready for prom in that room. Crazy to think about.

Today is Miss Everly's third birthday. I find it difficult to type that. She has grown into the sweetest little girl and I am so fortunate that I get the opportunity to love her.

I hope you know today, just like every day, that you are loved more than your big personality and sweet heart could ever comprehend and that that will never change. You are destined for greatness, little love!

Love always,
Lulu

A post that isn't about New York

I have caught myself staring at this picture in every second of spare time that has come my way. Maybe it's the fact that there is a cozy fire nestled behind our backs, symbolizing that Fall is in full swing and so is my cold-weather wardrobe (which I love most). Or perhaps because this is one of my favorite moments with Reece and I am so glad someone captured it. Of course, maybe because he is so handsome. And although those are all promising possibilities, I do not think they are the sole reasons as to why this picture is etched into my memory and probably my pupils by now since I have looked at it so often.

There is not a lot of steadiness going on in my life right now. My feelings concerning class and alarm clocks aren't steady. My "I'm going to eat healthy today" attitude is not steady. My bank account couldn't be farther from steady. Except this one. He seems to be the most steady thing about my life right now. If you look close enough, I am sure it looks as though I am clinging to his arm for dear life. Not because I think he's going anywhere, he's not. But because I feel the need now, more than ever, to hold the ones I love and hold them close. That's a good enough reason, right?

It's funny how quickly your thought process changes when you fall in love. Death had never been on my radar. (Pause. I realize this post is more morbid than that of my usual upbeat, I heart New York frame of mind. But life isn't always upbeat. And I am trying to be a little less "life is like a perfect instagram post".) Of course, I was aware of it and knew that somewhere down the road I would be confronted by it. But with each obituary and news report I see, death moves it's way to the top of my list of things to be afraid of. It is a harsh thing and rarely comes with an explanation. I cannot bear the thought of losing someone that I love. And I would be lying if I told you that I've come to terms with my fears and realized that ultimately, it is out of my control. Just a thought. A rather dark one, at that. But these dark thoughts of mine turn into reasons as to why I should smile a little more today.

Contrails

I drove back to Rock Hill a couple weeks ago after spending some time frolicking in Charlotte, stuck in a frustrated state of mind. It seemed as though there was an airplane occupying every square inch of the sky. Coming. Going. Crossing each other's paths making a web of contrails that resembled my chaotic thoughts. Thoughts of other places. Thoughts of leaving behind everything that is familiar to me for a world full of those unanswered questions and unavoidable chaos. I have seemed to settle into the routine of identifying only the things I wish I could do, and the things I wish I had. I would imagine that that is not a healthy way of thinking. But I figure from those realizations will come my dreams, and those dreams will eventually turn into a reality. I hope.

Constellations

I have grown rather familiar with the way the stars fall on the tips of distant mountains. Their points seem to create constellations of their own, outlining the ragged edges of each peak. On nights when they are there, I drive sitting at the edge of the driver's seat in hopes of watching them dance with my headlights and the pair of headlights in front of me. It's all a mess. The order of the stars, the cracks in the paved highway, the thoughts in my head. But the chaos is so reoccurring that I imagine that it was put there for and reason and that it is never going to change. The questions that have no answers, the things that we cannot explain, they will remain unanswered and they will remain unexplainable.

She's back

Hello world! I suppose I have a tendency to sneak into the shadows from time to time. More often than not it occurs when I am amidst a season of change. You know those have always been my favorite times of the year.

I'll give you a quick update.

Two weeks into my sophomore year of college and I have already contemplated starting a countdown until graduation. It's not that I particularly hate school that much, but that day seems so far away. Therefore, a reminder that it is closer than it seems is necessary. Since I know you don't want to hear about my class load, we'll skip to the more interesting aspects of my life. Carley girl (my roommate), keeps me laughing, just as I thought she would. I am constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to have a weirdo like her in my life.  Reece is nothing short of incredible. On the days when I swear that things couldn't get any better, they do. One thing I have learned from him is that there is no timeline to be put on my life. I certainly did not expect myself to be as in love with someone as I am with him, at such a young age.

Goodness I get distracted easily. So back to what I was saying...

We read an article during my first class of Introduction to Religious Studies and I found it nearly impossible to not underline every word, it was just that good. Take a look at it. It raised a lot of questions for me. What gives your life meaning? Why do those things mean as much as they do?

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/06/opinion/david-brooks-the-problem-with-meaning.html?_r=0 

sandy toes and smitten eyes

This summer has been good to me, thus far. What have I done? I would say that I have done nothing but that is partly a lie. I have done nothing, but in other places, with people that I thoroughly enjoy.

I just wrapped up a week at the beach with my roommate and her family. It was full of laughing fits, crappy carnivals, melted ice cream, and great food. Lots and lots of great food. I spent my week staring at the inside of a beach umbrella. catching the occasional ray of blinding sunlight through the tears in the cheap fabric. The colors had begun to fade, due to multiple summers in the sun, I suppose. It is the first extended amount of time that I have spent with Carley. That girl is awesome. Her demeanor is so relaxed that I sometimes have to ask her if she is okay because she is so peaceful. But there are also times when I swear I have never laughed so hard in my life. And she isn't phased by my strange ways, which is a good thing. I am so excited to take on sophomore year with her. There are many hysterical stories to come, I am sure of it.

Reece is great. More than great, actually. He is incredible. I am in a world of my own when he's around. And I don't think that feeling will ever go away. Below are some pictures from my summer, so far. I'm sure they won't make you swoon like they do for me, but they might make you smile. And that's good enough for me!


XOXO,
lil

Introducing Reece.

I am about to do what I promised myself I would never do: blog about a guy. However, this is not a post about my brother or just any guy. This is Reece. And once I am done here, you will understand why simply thinking these things just isn't enough.

Since Reece came along, my roommate and I have had a running joke: "From what rock has he been hiding under and does he have a friend?" (for Carley, of course). It is something that I ask myself on a daily basis. He came out of nowhere. There was no gradual introduction, or a grand gesture that you would see in a movie. He walked into my life as if he knew there was already a place for him there. I didn't know there was, but there was. At the time, I was bitter and jaded towards the idea that I would ever find a guy that would treat me how I deserved to be treated (pity party over).

And then came Reece. 

Tall. Extremely handsome. Brown Eyes. Contagious smile. All the things they describe in the story books. And then I grew familiar with his heart. Pure gold, I tell you. I know that I am biased, but when you meet him (notice I said "when", not "if") you will understand why I speak so highly of him. He pursued me in an intentional way that I did not know existed outside of the most romantic movies. No secrets. No games. No wasting each others time. Straight to the point. I think that's what caught my attention the most. It was apparent that this was not something that would be taken lightly. But if you didn't know this about me before, I am not very good at taking things lightly. I invest all my time and thoughts into the things that are important to me and there is no in-between. This was no different. 

It is so much more than the smiling in random places that I spoke of last summer. I find myself laughing at the thought that I thought I was happy then. But Reece made a good point (he's so smart). I was truly happy then. It was my normal. But this is my new normal. And in comparison to times that I thought I was happy before now, there simply isn't a way that this feeling could come close. 

I am a lucky girl. And that, my friends, is the understatement of the century. 

I won't reveal too many details just yet, seeing that I have a very long time to write this story. He will be around for a very long time. I have never been so sure of a single thing. Because when you know, you know. Right Reece?