Where I Stand

Hey there! It has been entirely too long since we talked last. But I am to blame for that. I have been so consumed by the excitement of this new chapter that I have whole-heartedly thrown myself into. That is, a chapter that has already shown itself capable of making me happier than I could ever imagine.

Graduation was liberating.

Besides the feeling of accomplishment in regards to academics, there were so many areas in my life that I was able to release from my grasp. Most of which had a demise that was long overdue. Nowadays, one could not find a single collared shirt in my closet if they tried. My green and white student ID has found its home in a box of items that I will piddle through years from now and swear that my "awkward stage" was worse than any other. And as awful as this sounds, the relationships in my life that were connected only through my class schedule have disintegrated to almost nothing. Surprisingly, that does not bother me. After attending my college orientation, it is now very evident that my view of the world according to my small seaside town is only a miniscule preview for what is to come.

I stand in the middle ground between childhood and a series of exhilarating events that will soon begin to define the type of person I will become. From this point on, some of the relationships that I create will be those that will last a lifetime. I will commence a repertoire of my life lessons that I will preach to my own children in a matter of time. The uncertainty of the rest of my life is so very enticing.

Extreme Makeover : Blog Edition

I have spent the majority of my day giving this blog a much needed face lift. Besides the fact that it has been a bit of a ghost town as far as my thoughts are concerned, not much has changed since I created it in April of 2013. I am finally starting to get a hang of this stuff. There are a handful of noticeable differences. I'll explain.


#1

dis.tinc.tions - a difference that sets someone or something apart from other

Simply because the word "home" was not exciting enough. And because my thoughts and the things I share with you are what set me apart from the other 7 billion people on this planet. 

#2

I read that blog readers want to know who you are. What a concept. Although I feel as though I give a pretty good insight as to who I am through my writing, there are just some things that you should know in order to understand why I am the way I am. 

#3

For as long as I can remember, music has been a constant in my life. Because I was raised with an exceptional compass as to what was good and what was bad, (Sting is good, Britney spears is bad), I am positive that my iTunes library is gold. And since I am sharing almost every other aspect of my life with you, why not add this one into the mix.  

P.S.- There is a compilation of my favorite songs that plays as soon as you open my blog. These will change, so write them down! The song titles can be found at the top of the page. Enjoy!

#4

wan.der.lust - a strong desire to travel

The title is self explanatory. I felt as though this was appropriate and much needed seeing that I have many stories to tell. Although I wish I could write about travel and only that, there are so many other exciting things happening around/to me that I must share. So on the days when your itch to travel is stronger than ever, maybe this will help a little. See where I have been, and where I have yet to go.

There are more of these tabs to come so be sure to check later! Suggestions are very welcomed. :) 

Infatuation

I feel as though my topic of discussion has repeatedly been my wide-eyed gaze of my future. I will not apologize for this. However, I will recognize it.

Queen City (Charlotte, NC)

When you spend a great deal of time in the city that will soon be part of your future, the thoughts concerning the "what if's" and "maybe's" are inevitable. You take a picture of the moonlit skyline with your eyes considering the fact that before long, that view will not be such a distant memory. The left turns and roundabouts become somewhat of a second nature to you. The price of a large chocolate mousse cup at your favorite french bakery has been memorized and the change is prepared before you approach the cash register. You have begun to compile the perfect playlist that corresponds with the atmosphere in which you stand. And with those melodies, you craft scenarios in your mind that orchestrate themselves at just the right moment in the music.

Things become familiar.

Meaning "well- known from long or close association", this word that is often used in a casual manner embodies a world of curiosity all in its own. After all, curiosity is the root of change. We continue to move forward, doors are opened, and windows are closed. Simply because we are curious, and curiosity leads to alternate paths.

I become curious. Things become familiar. And from those questions and their appropriate answers, comes my life. A life that is thrilling because I have managed to wonder (and sometimes get a little lost) in the right direction. And that is a life that I am quite infatuated with.

7,225,193,621

At this moment in time, there are 7,225,193,521 people on planet Earth. By the time you take your next breath, that number will have increased. Some are lost. Some are coming home. Some craft lies in order to make it through the day. Some cannot manage to escape the truth. Some are cradling a broken heart. While others are reminiscing on the happiest moments in life. Each of these individuals has a different desire that God has placed in their heart. Each has a different point at which their vulnerability is triggered. And out of that seven billion people in the world, all you need is one.

Imagine a moment in your future when all of the scenarios you played out in your head while sitting in the desk of your high school finally play themselves out. A moment when the combination of these perfect moments become a thing you call your life. It is one of the greatest times of your existence and you get to experience it with one person. Who is standing next to you? Is it the little boy from your first grade class that always had his finger lodged up his nose? Is it the guy you always noticed strolling across the lawn of your college campus but never really took the time to learn his name? Or is it the man that frustrated you at the stop light three months ago? Who is to blame for the happiest moments in your life? Unlike most questions, this is one amongst few that cannot be answered in advance.

I am fortunate enough to have a friend that will tolerate my philosophies and opinions. Without Caitlin, I would be a complicated cluster of frustration, excitement, and genius ideas trapped in the body of an eighteen-year-old female. (Which, if you ask me, sounds like a dangerous concoction.) Earlier this week we were discussing the fact that matters have drastically changed over time. Yes, I know, that is the understatement of the century. I'll explain.

For many years now, I have listened as my parents have repeatedly told their perfect fairytale. Things were much simpler then. Relationships were not built upon the liking of an Instagram post and they were certainly not established by the current relationship status on Facebook. "Love" was not a word that was used too lightly. It was a word that described the feeling one felt when they had found their "person". Their second set of ears, their third arm, their significant other. It was/is apparent that within a few times of being in each other's company, there had never been something so crystal clear as the fact that they belonged together. I guess one could compare it to the feeling you get when you find the perfect pair of shoes, but on a level of intensity that is all its own. But the more I pondered these fairytale-like happenings, the more I realized that the world no longer revolves in this direction. Relationships are rarely built on the hearts of those involved. Instead, they rely on circumstances, mistakes, and pending opportunities to decide for them. Doesn't seem right does it? I didn't think so either. And I wish I could say that I have solved at least one of the world's problems. But the truth is, I have just as many questions as I did before the first word of this post.

Seven billion people in the world, and sometimes you only need one. Will you recognize the authenticity of infatuation when you discover it? Better yet, will you be courageous enough to pursue it?

compliments of BillieJoe and Jeremy Photography!

Bring it on!

Crazy things have been happening around here!

My sister is pregnant with Baby Stills number two! We have the privilege of meeting this sweet boy in May. Everly has been such an incredible addition to our lives. Watching her enormous personality flourish has been a blast. It is difficult for me to imagine that I could possibly love another tiny human as much as I love her. But our love is multiplied, not divided. (You like that math reference?)

I received this thing in the mail called an "acceptance letter" from Winthrop University. I'm not really sure what all the fuss is about. It was just a piece of paper that began with "Congratulations" and ended with "Welcome to Winthrop University". Which means that I AM GOING TO COLLEGE. Checks have been sent, papers have been signed, and plans have been made. I guess all of those minor panic attacks concerning report cards and the late nights spent studying really did pay off in the end. I was the girl that usually rolled her eyes when that cliche statement was thrown into a conversation. Words cannot describe how overjoyed I am to be nearing the next chapter in my life. However, the more time I spend enjoying Beaufort, the more I begin to retract my negative statements about this seaside town. I purposefully choose not to think about the fact that in five short months I will be watching my childhood and the life I have created here (best friends and family) through the rearview mirror. And as much as I hate to admit it, I will miss home. There will be no more evening jogs down Bay Street, no more perfectly painted sunset views over the glassy water on my way home everyday, and no more late arrivals due to the bridge opening. Some may see it as a bit depressing. But here is how I view the situation. There are going to be new routes to run, a different perspective of the sunset, and plenty of other things that will cause me to be tardy at the most inconvenient time possible (I am sure). It is time for a change in scenery. Bring it on Rock Hill!

And last but most definitely not least. There is a flippin' graduation cap AND gown hanging in my closet. Green and white, with a sticker on the package that has my first, middle, and last name written neatly on the front. There are approximately 60 days until I zip that sucker up and trek across the perfectly manicured football field to the seat that is designated just for me. Twelve years of eraser shavings and papers graded in red ink is coming to an end. We may want to go ahead and start making donations of tissue boxes to the Walker residence because I have a feeling that this will not be a dry-eyed experience for my parents. After all, I am the last little birdie to leave the nest. Someone buy them another dog, please.

There is not one ounce of fear in this girl's conscience at the moment. And I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible. Seeing that I am in a full sprint towards the finish line, there is no time to stop and consider the what if's and maybe's. Let's go people. Let's get this show on the road!

BillieJo and Jeremy Photography. Check them out! 

Today's Someday

Somehow I managed to cruise through the holidays with the bare minimum of blogging (meaning none).  I could proclaim that I was busy with family or just plain busy. But that would be a lie. I have not been doing much of anything lately. Which, of course, has given me plenty of time to think.

I have inevitably been launched into my final semester of my high school career. It feels just as weird to type as I'm sure it sounds. Six months from now I will no longer be dealing with a dress code penalty or my lack of knowledge concerning my locker combination. As much as I despise those two things, my life will not be it's usual disorganized, spontaneous, sometimes-bending-the-rules self. And based on my choice of descriptive words chosen to identify my current status of life, I will most likely be better off without them. Seeing that they only add to the madness. That is, the type of madness with no method.

The chaos of adolescent life exits, and enters….more madness. "What? Did you think this was going to be a smooth ride", says Life. No, no, no. I am not that naive. A life filled with graceful events and only pleasant life experiences, would result in an individual who was unable to see the world surrounding their rose-smelling, blue-skied bubble. And who wants that? "Not I" says the anxious seventeen-year-old. Throw me a curve ball every once in a while. Grant me with a perfect rain storm as I am sprinting to make it to class on time. For it is on those days, in the moments when I cannot imagine things being any worse, that I will remember times where the sun could not have shone any brighter and the smile on my face could not have stretched any farther. The day that I do not step out of my dorm room due to the sobbing sky, will be the day that I reflect on what an amazing life I have lived (so far) and all the life that is left to live. And then, just as quickly as you and I can blink, it will be ten years later and I will be rocking a precious baby to sleep in my arms as I listen to the rain fall outside the window of MY home. I will reminisce back to the day in the dorm. You get the point. It is the oldest story in the book. One day, you are seventeen and you're planning for someday and all that it will hold. And then quietly, without you're ever really noticing that anything has changed, someday becomes today. And then that someday is yesterday. And this is your life. However many years in the making, it is the life that you have created for yourself.

Just turn the page!

It is a child's instinct. Give them a book, they will want to turn the page. You may not have finished the sentence on that page, and you probably had not even read the first word. But like clockwork, that little one nestled in your lap eagerly turned the page and your words were violently terminated as you attempted to keep up with their speedy pace. Of course the illustrations on each page are exciting in themselves. However, I do not believe that the corresponding stories are ignored by those small ears. They want to know what happens next. That, is also human nature. Especially that of a child, considering that they are ALWAYS asking questions.

Growing up, I read the classic childhood fairytales. Cinderella, The Nutcracker, any Disney story, you name it, I've read it. Then there were the Dr. Seuss riddles. Don't forget, Shel Silverstein. I'm sure this is surprising to those of you who have heard me proclaim numerous times that I hate to read. But I assure you, I am telling the truth. I was once that (obnoxious at the time) big-personality, 'I know what I want', 'my way or the highway' gal who spastically flipped the page before my sister could spit out the first word. And I am still that person, but in a different sense. 

I hear it daily. If not directed towards me, it is to someone else. "You are entering another chapter of your life." "Turn the page." Life's adventures are often referred to as "chapters". Each chapter holds a new beginning, a new atmosphere, a new cluster of characters, a new obstacle for the main character. And I can proudly announce that I have successfully made it through numerous chapters in my life that have led me to the greatest and most exciting yet, the real world. 

So please, just turn the page! To my new chapter, my new adventure, and those that are to follow. I can hardly wait to discover the plan that God has for me. Where will I live? Who will I meet? What will my last name be in ten years? (Hopefully, something different.) What kind of mark will I make on this Earth? That's a lot of questions. I am well aware. And there are an endless possibilities of answers for each question and the dozens more that are streaming through my brain at the moment. BUT! There is one answer for each of those questions that has my name signed next to it. And it has been that way since the very beginning. There is a bibliography with my name as the title that is waiting to be fulfilled.  I may have my own. But taking a glance at the bigger picture, it is only a chapter in the greatest book, written by the One who is the author of all lives. You have a chapter in that book too. As well as your sister, and her friend, and her cousin, and her husband, and so on. 

Turn your page. And watch with me as I turn mine. 

(picture thanks to Amy Marcy of Coastline Imagery)