I stumbled across a scripture today that really echoed in my head. Although only a mere seven words, it encompasses just enough to form goosebumps on my arms.
"He will come to us like rain." -Hosea 6:3
Ironically enough, there was a consistent rainfall for the majority of the day. And if you did not already know this about me, I am as much of a pluviophile as a person could be. That is, someone who finds joy and a peace of mind during rainy days. There is an overwhelming feeling of serenity when I hear the lull of raindrops gathering outside my window. And even though the morning stroll to class was a bit brisk, the soft mist that fell on my head en route was not in the least bit inconvenient. After discovering this scripture, the thought crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe, I am so fond of these so-called somber days because of this very reason. "He will come to us like rain." The more I say it, and the more I read that statement, the more I am certain that this is the underlying reason as to why I find comfort in crying skies.
It is difficult for me to grasp the concept that I have been at college for a mere 27 days. Twenty-seven days of life lessons that vary in weight. Twenty-seven days of new friends, some of which I would already willingly place in the lineup of my wedding party. I have grown to love the early hours of the morning considering that the obvious freshman in me decided that it would be a good idea to schedule all of my classes before sunrise. Coach Dixon, when you told me to never schedule a class before 9:30 a.m., you were not kidding. And I admit, with little dismay, that you were right and I should have listened. There is no such thing as being a morning person when one is also a college student. However, one of my favorite parts of my mornings is to stroll past the music conservatory where one can hear the lullaby of aspiring musicians perfecting their scales. And although it never fails to put a smile on my face, it is a constant reminder of one of the aspects that I miss most about my home in Beaufort. I have yet to find a place where I can simply sit down and play the piano. For a person who has grown up with a musical instrument at arms length at all times, it is a challenging adjustment to make. But I am learning. Slowly, but surely. I am learning that my life is here now. These are the park benches that I will write my story from. (At least for the next four years.) These are the rooftops that I will stargaze from. These are the streets that will become the tendrils to the web that could lead to a love greater than I could ever fathom. Just the very thought of that excites me. Then again, how could it not? Here I am. Staring with a young-hearted, wide-eyed gaze at the first step of my life. And in reference to limitations, the sky is just the beginning.
I have been postponing this blog post since I returned from New York City. This is due to the fact that I am STILL struggling to gather enough words to accurately express my feelings concerning those 302 square miles of perfection.
New York City is a place for people. Quite a generalization, right? But you see, it's just that simple. I could not count on my hands and feet the different walks of life I saw, if I tried. It is a place where there is little time to stop walking and study the wardrobe choices or the cosmetic appearance of the passerby. And because of this, there is little time to judge.
Among all the cliche things that we did while in the city, one of my favorite pastimes was to lounge in Central Park and absorb the chaos. And if you're lucky, you'll find a spot atop a boulder that allows you to overlook the park AND the skyline. I could have spent an entire day there and would have never noticed nor cared that time was passing slowly.
I found myself being swallowed by a city and its 8 million residents. Oddly enough, I did not mind. The anonymity of the bustling streets was liberating considering that at home, I am unable to spend 15 minutes in my favorite coffee shop without being approached. I realize that that is a little harsh. However, there are days when I would love nothing more than to slip into an oversized sweatshirt and fall into the flow of things without being noticed. New York City is the place to do that.
Tears started strolling the minute I buckled the seatbelt in the taxi that was designated to take us to the airport, and again when our plane took off. One would think that I was leaving a love behind. I was. A love for a city and the millions of beautiful reminders that it too, could be my home.
My feet were sore and blistered from walking the streets of that sleepless city. But there was/is an ever present sense of awe instilled in me. Yes, I was raised in a small seaside town on the opposing side of the country. But my home is wherever I am. And I promise you, I will be back there some day.
As a young adult, (and I'm sure the majority of my friends could attest to this), I am constantly asked the question, "how's your love life?" My response usually being, "what love life?" Not only is this one of my least favorite questions, but I feel as though the person asking the question is rarely prepared for the answer I would love to give them. Which is why I often resort to offering my "love life" or the lack lackthereof as a sense of comic relief. Self-deprivation probably is not the healthiest, but in instances such as this one, it seems to be the easiest way to exit the conversation.
This is my answer, as of this moment in time…
How is my love life? It is as good as the romantic aspect of an 18-year old's life could be. A really good friend of mine (not saying any names, Sydney Boggs) brought to my attention that at such a young age, one is only capable of loving as much as they know how. Sure, you may think it is love. But there is a love that fulfills a capacity much larger than I could ever fathom. She is pretty wise, if ya ask me. Boy, am I thankful that I have a friend like her who speaks clarity and reality into my life.
And then came summer.
If only for a short amount of time, I was given a small glimpse of what it is like to be in love. I got lost counting stars and dancing in parking lots. I found myself checking my phone every three minutes hoping for a response to a text message. And I often found myself awkwardly smiling in response to those messages in the most public places. I fell hard and fast. It was far more enjoyable than the picture I had painted in my head, and something that I struggled to describe in words. It was a feeling that stirred inside of me and produced an ever-present smile. I could claim that it has been a long time since that feeling made it's way through my veins. But quite honestly, I cannot remember a time when I have been happier.
Insert the cliche statement of "all good things must come to an end." Which I strongly disagree with. But somewhere in the freedom and spontaneity of summer, (and much to my dismay), I wandered. Wandered away from a feeling that I had hoped was there to stay. For all I know, this fondness could be buried underneath the anxious feeling of a fresh and quickly approaching chapter in my life. Time will tell.
Yes, I am confused. Confused about how I feel and what I want most. But confusion often leads to growth. And from growth comes strength. So I am okay with being confused, for now.
P.S. You'll want to dance in the parking lot to this song too.
Before the thought of my existence pranced through my parents brains, they brought my sister, Jennie, into the world. And boy am I glad they did.
She is beautiful. And when I say beautiful, I mean quadruple-take beautiful. The kind of gorgeous that reaches far beneath the surface and reflects that of which her heart is made.
She is a supporter. As I sifted through old memories and messages signed at the bottom of cards (I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to cards), Jennie's encouraging words were always present. Not to mention that each month of my senior year of high school, she sent a bundle of cards that she had crafted from magazine clippings and inspirational quotes. Each card was labeled with a date, and I was not to read the card until that day. Yes, I have 180 cards in the dash of my car. She is THAT thoughtful.
She is a mom. I have been blessed with an ample amount of time to watch her with Everly and Smith. And quite honestly, it is one of my favorite things to do. Her patience is mind boggling. And I am sure of the fact that those kiddos will grow up knowing that the love that their mom has for them is unshakable.
We have developed a stronger relationship over the past few years. A relationship that I'm sure will only grow stronger over time. And it is, (dare I say), one of my favorite friendships in my life.
I could go on and on about the things that she has done for me. Or I could say this.
I have a sister. But even better than that, I have a sister like Jennie.
Here's to a lifetime of comic relief, nights filled with dramatic episodes of the bachelor, and plenty of PF Chang's takeout. I can't wait.
Hey there! It has been entirely too long since we talked last. But I am to blame for that. I have been so consumed by the excitement of this new chapter that I have whole-heartedly thrown myself into. That is, a chapter that has already shown itself capable of making me happier than I could ever imagine.
Graduation was liberating.
Besides the feeling of accomplishment in regards to academics, there were so many areas in my life that I was able to release from my grasp. Most of which had a demise that was long overdue. Nowadays, one could not find a single collared shirt in my closet if they tried. My green and white student ID has found its home in a box of items that I will piddle through years from now and swear that my "awkward stage" was worse than any other. And as awful as this sounds, the relationships in my life that were connected only through my class schedule have disintegrated to almost nothing. Surprisingly, that does not bother me. After attending my college orientation, it is now very evident that my view of the world according to my small seaside town is only a miniscule preview for what is to come.
I stand in the middle ground between childhood and a series of exhilarating events that will soon begin to define the type of person I will become. From this point on, some of the relationships that I create will be those that will last a lifetime. I will commence a repertoire of my life lessons that I will preach to my own children in a matter of time. The uncertainty of the rest of my life is so very enticing.
I have spent the majority of my day giving this blog a much needed face lift. Besides the fact that it has been a bit of a ghost town as far as my thoughts are concerned, not much has changed since I created it in April of 2013. I am finally starting to get a hang of this stuff. There are a handful of noticeable differences. I'll explain.
#1
dis.tinc.tions - a difference that sets someone or something apart from other
Simply because the word "home" was not exciting enough. And because my thoughts and the things I share with you are what set me apart from the other 7 billion people on this planet.
#2
I read that blog readers want to know who you are. What a concept. Although I feel as though I give a pretty good insight as to who I am through my writing, there are just some things that you should know in order to understand why I am the way I am.
#3
For as long as I can remember, music has been a constant in my life. Because I was raised with an exceptional compass as to what was good and what was bad, (Sting is good, Britney spears is bad), I am positive that my iTunes library is gold. And since I am sharing almost every other aspect of my life with you, why not add this one into the mix.
P.S.- There is a compilation of my favorite songs that plays as soon as you open my blog. These will change, so write them down! The song titles can be found at the top of the page. Enjoy!
#4
wan.der.lust - a strong desire to travel
The title is self explanatory. I felt as though this was appropriate and much needed seeing that I have many stories to tell. Although I wish I could write about travel and only that, there are so many other exciting things happening around/to me that I must share. So on the days when your itch to travel is stronger than ever, maybe this will help a little. See where I have been, and where I have yet to go.
There are more of these tabs to come so be sure to check later! Suggestions are very welcomed. :)
