So long, Freshman year.

What a day. What a week. What a month. What a year. I'm almost positive I began my college experience sitting outside this coffee shop attempting to express to you my excitement and eagerness to launch myself into a new life. And oddly enough, that is how I am ending it. Technically, my freshman year is not complete. I am left with a week and a half in which I am sent into a state of abnormal and unhealthy sleeping patterns and the most interesting combinations of leggings and whatever clean shirt I can find (because let's face it, this college student LOATHES laundry). By the end of that time period, I feel as though I won't be my usual self. So it's probably best if I do this now.

I wish that I could easily map out the 10 most valuable, cookie-cutter lessons I've learned during my freshman year of college. Everyone else seems to have an abundant amount of knowledge in that department seeing that my Facebook newsfeed is literally blowing up with such articles. But this is not one of those, I assure you.

If someone were to ask me, "What did you take away from this year?", I would most likely laugh in their face. Not in an effort to be disrespectful, but simply because that is the worst question I have ever heard in my life. What didn't I learn this year? That would initiate a shorter response. I fear that no one is ever really prepared for the real answer that accompanies general questions.

So here is the raw and honest truth.

 -never wear cotton leggings to yoga class
-you don't know what procrastination is until you put off a 12 page paper for 6 hours until it's due
- foreign boys at Winthrop University are smooth talkers
-the American ones are smooth talkers too
-the only advantage to a hall bath is that you don't have to clean it yourself
- never leave a carton of strawberries in your refrigerator over spring break
-do not trust people until they give you a reason to
-do not assume that everyone has your back
-don't drag people into your drama
-just because they're in college does not mean they are mature
-cafeteria food is a natural laxative
-one day home is one day home: it makes a world of a difference
-there is no such thing as being a morning person
-people can only understand you from their level of perception
-and even then, not everyone is going to understand
-you never really know someone until you live with them
-I actually have no clue what I'm doing or what I will be doing in 5 years
-once you start skipping class, it's hard to break the habit
-make friends with your professors, it has its benefits
-if you think it's the end of the world, it's not
-your most treasured friendships will come from the most random moments
-let the space between where you are and where you want to be motivate you
-you make the bed you lie in
-things are capable of getting a lot worse
-never underestimate the comfort that a "girl's night" can bring
-don't be afraid to spend time alone
-pitty parties are never pretty
-the friends that stick around to sit with you while you cry (and laugh while you do it) are the ones you need to keep
-it is a wise decision to create a separate budget for Cookout
-weak people tend to take the easy way out and end up hurting you the most
-do not assume someone cares until they give you a reason to believe that they do

I know it seems as though the majority of these things have a negative connotation, and in a way, they do. But that is the harsh reality of my year. I learned more about what not to do, than about what I should do. Not to say that my year was not full of happy moments. Believe you me, it was. This year has produced a handful of moments that will forever be etched into my memory as times in which I was the happiest. I am leaving here with more questions than when I came. But along with those questions, I am leaving with memories that I have deemed irreplaceable.

In the next week and a half, I will pack up my things: my ever-growing wardrobe, the unnecessary amount of boots, those sacred memories. And then my little Honda Civic will drive me back to my seaside town as if it knows the way by heart. Only to return in the fall with a new set of pictures to be taped to the wall in hopes of reminding me of my Freshman year of college.

I'm a tough cookie

Somewhere in the midst of this crazy semester I have lost contact with the part of me that used to write myself into a state of peace and out of the chaotic state of life. But what once was lost, is now found. I am back. My thoughts are flowing more consistently and the words are practically typing themselves. I could not be happier about that. There was a time in which I began to grow nervous about my future as a writer seeing that I was experiencing an all-consuming lack of creativity and inspiration. This was the first time, as a writer, that I have not been eager to record every part of my day. I was frightened. I have declared Journalism as my major and how can I expect to spend the rest of my career doing something that doesn't come easily to me? But this epidemic of "writer's block" did not last very long, thankfully. It could be blamed on my fast-paced life that has only gotten worse over the past few months. Or perhaps I was distracted by simply trying to make sense of all of this change that I did not find the time to explain it to you. But that's where I went wrong. It isn't until I put it in writing that I can fully comprehend a situation. I always say that I write more passionately and more clearly about the things that hurt. This semester has been tough. Friendships have been tested, hours of sleep have been exchanged for hours spent studying, and the confidence I once had in my potential has swayed. However, I think I am on my way back to normal, even though I have yet to figure out what my "normal" is. I am on my way back to a place where I am most comfortable. (That is, other than New York.)

If these college years are full of moments of questioning and times of digging deeper in search of motivation, then I will be just fine. I have resurfaced with an aching to write every thought down. I love my friends now more than ever. And I have a new found appreciation for myself and my ability to keep going.

This is Morgan, she keeps me sane. 

This is Adriana, she makes me laugh. 

This is LK, she challenges me.
(Of course, these are only a few of the many examples why I love my life and the people in it.)