Just turn the page!

It is a child's instinct. Give them a book, they will want to turn the page. You may not have finished the sentence on that page, and you probably had not even read the first word. But like clockwork, that little one nestled in your lap eagerly turned the page and your words were violently terminated as you attempted to keep up with their speedy pace. Of course the illustrations on each page are exciting in themselves. However, I do not believe that the corresponding stories are ignored by those small ears. They want to know what happens next. That, is also human nature. Especially that of a child, considering that they are ALWAYS asking questions.

Growing up, I read the classic childhood fairytales. Cinderella, The Nutcracker, any Disney story, you name it, I've read it. Then there were the Dr. Seuss riddles. Don't forget, Shel Silverstein. I'm sure this is surprising to those of you who have heard me proclaim numerous times that I hate to read. But I assure you, I am telling the truth. I was once that (obnoxious at the time) big-personality, 'I know what I want', 'my way or the highway' gal who spastically flipped the page before my sister could spit out the first word. And I am still that person, but in a different sense. 

I hear it daily. If not directed towards me, it is to someone else. "You are entering another chapter of your life." "Turn the page." Life's adventures are often referred to as "chapters". Each chapter holds a new beginning, a new atmosphere, a new cluster of characters, a new obstacle for the main character. And I can proudly announce that I have successfully made it through numerous chapters in my life that have led me to the greatest and most exciting yet, the real world. 

So please, just turn the page! To my new chapter, my new adventure, and those that are to follow. I can hardly wait to discover the plan that God has for me. Where will I live? Who will I meet? What will my last name be in ten years? (Hopefully, something different.) What kind of mark will I make on this Earth? That's a lot of questions. I am well aware. And there are an endless possibilities of answers for each question and the dozens more that are streaming through my brain at the moment. BUT! There is one answer for each of those questions that has my name signed next to it. And it has been that way since the very beginning. There is a bibliography with my name as the title that is waiting to be fulfilled.  I may have my own. But taking a glance at the bigger picture, it is only a chapter in the greatest book, written by the One who is the author of all lives. You have a chapter in that book too. As well as your sister, and her friend, and her cousin, and her husband, and so on. 

Turn your page. And watch with me as I turn mine. 

(picture thanks to Amy Marcy of Coastline Imagery)

Globe trotting

Glancing at a map is simple. I prefer globes. One sees a large mass of blue ink with intermittent blobs of green scattered across its parameter. The green blobs representing stretches of land that were distinguished by those who came before us, and so on. And if you are anyone but me, you see the map, you consider the places you would like to visit in your lifetime, and you move along with the routine of your day. That is, anyone but me. Let me explain.

Being that I was born into a family with a father who could not count on his fingers and toes the number of countries he has been to, it is natural to assume that I have been granted with opportunities that other teenagers (much less any human) have not.

Excluding the surplus of airport t-shirts that I have collected, I have been blessed with opportunities that will forever be stamped into my memory as some of life’s most valuable experiences. The most recent of those experiences being my endeavor to the heart of Africa, South Sudan.

For twelve days, I (along with four other men), trekked exactly 7,252 miles from my seaside hometown to a village that is nestled as deep into Africa as one can possibly go.  Although twelve days may not sound like enough to fully understand their culture and their way of living, it was the perfect dosage I needed in order to permanently alter my opinions concerning the way I live. 

Most would label it as an epic culture shock. And in some ways, it was. But for me it served more as an awakening. I was well aware of the fact that I was entering a part of the world where conditions were in a state that most could not fathom. In every direction possible, I could easily spot a wandering child or an AK-47. That is quite a combination, right? There were hunger-stricken animals (cows, dogs, goats) roaming the streets as if they owned the place. And all of these occurrences are not things we see on a daily basis in the United States.

By becoming part of the Dinka world for a short amount of time, their passionate love and sense of gratefulness wore off on me. Yes, I still love my shower. And I still love my bed. But the other matters that occupy my time and the space in my life mean so much more, as cliché as that sounds. I have learned the importance of being thankful of what you have in the moment. Because what they say is true, “you never know what you have until it’s gone.”

But most importantly, I saw the world from a different perspective; the perspective of thousands of people who struggle from day to day to find enough water to quench their ever-present thirst. I saw the world through the eyes of a seventeen-year-old female who was far away from home in miles, but as close to home as one could get in the sense of belonging. 

My new niche...

My fascination for photography has grown deeper and deeper over the past couple weeks. And I am thankful that I have gorgeous friends who are willing to be my guinea pig for the day! Here are some shots from today with my girl Caitlin. 

Thanks Caitlin! :)

A season for everything

Thanks to Coastline Imagery (a.k.a. The Dirt Life)

I've noticed throughout my life that along with the weather, there are seasons in life. What do I mean by this? Of course at some point, one must exchange the beach cover-ups and light sundresses in their closet for the oversized flannel shirts and corduroy pants (which I am proud to say I do not own one pair).  But this is not what I am speaking of. Everyone, I'm sure, has heard the saying "there's a season for everything". And the more I ponder the meaning of it, the more I believe it. Let me explain. 

Start with Spring. April showers do bring May flowers, blah blah blah. Around this time of year, prom dresses are bought, diplomas are signed and plans are made for the summer. Most of things happening in the Spring, if not all of them, are positive. It serves as a kick off to Summer. 

Summer is a different story. Although it is a time of carefree sunny days and a surplus of late night star-gazing, it is jam packed with Summer jobs and the dreaded countdown to the coming school year. And if you live in Beaufort, it consists of long days at the sandbar and an unnecessary amount of money spent at the annual Water Festival. But if there is one thing that you have observed about me from reading my blog, it is that the roar of a boat motor and the twang of a country song does not function as a cradle song. Therefore my Summers are quite the opposite of most of those who reside in this seaside town. 

Then comes Fall, which at one time in my life, I looked forward to. Don't get me wrong, I would much rather the weather consist of dreary days where the temperature never rises above 50 degrees and it is acceptable for me to wear my hair in what seems to be a rats nest on top of my head. But for some reason, Fall has consisted solely of change and times when I wondered why these things were happening. I apologize for the cheesy comment that I am about to make. But to me, it seems as though things tend to "fall apart" in Fall. At least for me they do. And these are all things that are impossible to hide from. One encounters the stress of the new school year that was placed on the back burner during summer. If a senior in high school, you are faced with a complicated compilation of decisions concerning college. (THAT'S ME!) It also marks the start of a new work year. Which I am sure if you're an adult, the word "work" brings along a certain level of stress all on it's own. Emotions are amplified due to the dramatic feeling of colder weather and the feeling/fear of being lonely seems tragic as the holidays are at an arms length away. The combination of these things send you into a downward spiral to a bottom less pit where the only thing to do is question what decision it was that you made that led you here. But do not fear, winter is near!

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Along comes winter where the joy of Christmas seems to surpass all of the feelings of emptiness. It is a time when families gather under one roof to celebrate a time when the world would be changed by the first breath taken by a precious baby boy. A time when you set aside the harsh feelings and the grudges that have been brewing inside of you during Fall, and you simply enjoy the company of those closest to you. A time when one is given the chance to fill, and if you're lucky, overflow, your 'love cup'. Can you tell I love Christmas? Then New Years comes along and we get to wrap up the past 365 days and start fresh. Only to encounter spring again. Then summer. Then fall. You know how the rest goes. 

Today is September 24, 2013. Yesterday I cried. Today I am frustrated. And now I am worried. All of which are signals that something, if anything, is falling apart. But I've come to realize that things falls apart so that other things can fall together.  

So the countdown beings. T minus 86 days until winter. 

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis

South Sudan, here I come!

Thought I would share something that I have been working on with my faithful, blog-reading friends.

Hey there!

What a year it has been! Things have most definitely shifted since I wrote to you last. I have a larger and more vivid vocabulary, my hair is a lot darker than it used to be, and I now hold the title of a high school ‘senior’. Crazy right? I am starting to understand more clearly the meaning of living in the moment. These moments don’t stick around long enough. One minute I am walking into my kindergarten class, I blink, and I am filling out college applications. But this year is going to be so much more than scholarships and all-nighters. Brace yourself.

It is that time again! That time of the year when I send out a letter containing a description of my newest endeavor and a large amount of money at the bottom of the page, in hopes that one would feel drawn to share a portion of their earnings with a gal like me. But I can assure you that this is much more than that.

I feel as if I have always had a heart for missions. And that is something you hear quite often these days. But it is true. (This is not new news to you.) I have had an ever-present desire to experience, immerse myself in, and explore foreign soil. Not for myself, but for God and those who I am called to serve.  Which is, well, every one. With that said, I might as well cut to the chase.

The afternoon of October 27^th, 2013 will be a very hectic and exciting day for me and four other members of our church (Seaside Vineyard Fellowship). On this day, we will depart for South Sudan. Yes, you read that correctly. The common response I have received when telling people where I am going is, “Why in the world would you want to do that?” Psshh.

That’s an easy question with an even easier answer. My God. My people. My world. My heart. All of which are connected to each other, but are individual reasons why I’m taking on such a task and what many consider as a risk. We (as humans), are called by GOD to love the PEOPLE of the WORLD from the depths of our HEARTS.

Being one of the World’s most infant country, South Sudan has become more common in a conversation amongst geography gurus. With more than 11,000,000 people and a land area just a bit smaller than that of Texas, it is safe to say that they are lacking a few things: water and a stable economy being a couple of those. Without these things, the simple resources and necessities that are needed to maintain a country much less keep their people alive are not obtainable. No, I cannot provide billions of dollars to help with their economic situation, and I cannot supply them with all the water they will ever need. But I can love them. Some on our team have already been there many times dealing with basic needs such as medical and water. They have invited us into their lives. While in South Sudan, our team will be leaving a trail throughout a handful of different villages. 75% of what I will be doing is building relationships with the people there. That’s what planting churches is all about (which is the goal of this trip). Whether it is by playing soccer, praying with them, or even a simple game of patty cake. I will quickly become enamored by their smiles, catch their contagious laughs, and watch their hearts grow. I already love them more than I could ever imagine. Most days I am not sure if my heart can hold anymore love for a place I have never been to and for people I have never met.

This is where you come in. As cliché as it sounds, this trip is impossible without you. $3,000. Now for a middle-aged adult with a steady job, that may be a piece of cake. But that is not I, unfortunately. Granted, we are orchestrating many fundraisers as part of the team building process in order to bring in money from the community. But one can only sell so many chicken dinner tickets. With that said, I have two tasks for you. Send me to Africa: both financially and in prayer. By doing that, you are just as much involved in this mission as I am.

I will be updating my blog as often as possible while I am there. You can find me at www.sorefeetchronicles.blogspot.com. I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Much love,

lils

There you have it! My official support letter for this amazing endeavor I am about to experience. Only 46 more days!

 

Yellow

As I lounge in the fairly worn out leather chair positioned in the back left corner of my living room, I am spending my night enriching my life. Sounds pretty serious right? Contrary to what that statement may SOUND like, I am actually doing something that requires no effort or thought. 

Thanks to Netflix, I am enthralled in "Coldplay Live 2012". I feel as though that is pretty self explanatory. For those of you who are not aware of what I am speaking of (you must live under a rock if you don't know who Coldplay is), they are the epitome of pure genius. Over the years, they have produced a timeless compilation of music that is the perfect recipe of meaningful lyrics and catchy melodies that you will remember after listening to one time. Antyways! What I am watching is a concert video from their Mylo Xyloto tour in 2012. Being two songs in, and as my eyes are attempting to follow the psychedelic lights and neon colors, I am sent into a state of deja vu. Chris Martin began to play the instrumental introduction to "Yellow" on his spray painted up-right piano and I knew exactly what song it was within seconds. I guess that's what comes along with being obsessed with music.

August 6, 2009 Zach and I took a road trip to Charlotte, North Carolina where that night we would attend a leg of the Viva La Vida tour. 

Although it was a birthday present from me to him, you could say it was a gift to myself as well. I was only twelve, but I must say that I had fabulous taste in music and I knew that they were one of Zach's favorite bands. Our general admission tickets were on the lawn and I was absolutely fine with that. It gave us the opportunity to really take in all that was going on. I would say about three quarters of the way through the show, the lights went out and on came a spotlight that began to follow the gang away from the stage. We didn't really understand what was going on until they made their way to a small stage that was only 100 yards away, I would say. I grasped the hand of the lady behind me (never really had stranger danger as you can tell) and we sprinted to get as close as we could. Zach followed close behind me. As cheesy as it sounds, that was an extremely exhilarating moment. 

That picture right there was taken with no zoom. And I am not lying, I promise. You should be jealous.  Needless to say, it was an amazing night and I am so grateful that I got to share it with Zachary. It will remain as one of my favorite memories. He is the best person to go to concerts with. There is nothing like watching some one you love very much watch something they love with a sense of awe in their eyes. It's a beautiful thing. 

Just in case you were one of those crazy people who have been living under a rock, here are a handful of my favorite Coldplay songs. Old and new. 

Big fish

It has been entirely too long my friends. I lost track of the days since my last post. A lot has happened since I wrote to you last. So the 'short and sweet' thing isn't really going to work out this time. I have a lot to update you on. Take a seat. 

Where do I even begin? Let's just go in chronological order. 

My summer in Charlotte was fantastic. And that's an understatement. I'm sure most of you have already noticed that Everly Michael has captivated my heart and I'm never getting it back. Forget the fact that she is THE most beautiful baby I have ever seen. She has such a fun personality that is always changing which ensures a constant chuckle on my end. I cannot wait to watch her grow (although I wish she could stay this little forever), teach her how to dance, take her to her first concert, and to see how her precious little life lays out before her. I did not know that our hearts were capable of holding so much love for such a little person. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Jennie. Because of the vast age difference between us, we haven't had time like that to really do the things that sisters do. There were plenty conversations about first kisses and worst dates. And I discovered that she is in fact the goofiest, most entertaining human being I know. I have never laughed so much and so hard as I did this summer. I really love that girl.

Although I miss the busy life that comes along with living in Charlotte, it is good to be home. I finally appreciate the obnoxious crickets that seem as though they host a family reunion every night outside my window. I cannot say that I missed the sand. Not sure that you will ever hear that come out of my mouth. After much procrastination, I can now see the shaggy carpet in my bedroom. I could make up excuses such as, "I was gone all summer", or "I was living out of a suitcase". But the reality is, I am a messy person. Things are much easier to find if they are all layed out on my floor. There is a method behind the madness, which is something my future roommate will have to understand. I have already starting praying for whomever that may be. 

I am off to Africa at the end of October! There ya go. How's that for a fall break? I could say that I'm ecstatic but that wouldn't do my excitement justice. A little bit nervous. It should be an adventure for a girl who has never been camping before. You better believe I will be blogging during that time and very often up until our departure. More details to come later. 

On to the problem at hand. Tomorrow is my first day of my senior year. My last first day of grade school. What? Yes Lili. You learned how to dot your i's and write in cursive. You've mastered the concept of the scientific method and how many sides are on a pentagon. You will be the big fish in a little pond. Sometimes I have to remind myself of simple things such as those listed. I have written my name in sharpie on every new school supply and have crafted the cutest book covers for those boring textbooks that I will be lugging around all year. 

Everyone claims that time flies when you're having fun and I usually nod my head and respond with a "yeah, it really does". But my goodness, time really does fly when you're having fun. I hope that this year slows down a bit. The never-ending deadlines concerning college and scholarships will keep me busy. But I would say I'm pretty good at taking time for myself and my friends to have fun. Probably more time that should be devoted to studying (which I strongly believe does not work). I look forward to discovering what this year holds. I will do my best to tell you everything. Everything. 

Here we go! 

Steady

Check Kelly out, she is amazing!

What a summer it has been. Between Everly's echoing giggle and Jennie constantly giving me a stomachache from laughing so hard, I have not smiled so much in such a short amount of time. This summer has been the reset button that I have needed in order to dive into my senior year with a clear conscience and a happy heart. 

Unfortunately, it has been a long time since I've written. Too long. And if you were to ask me why, I probably would wait a few seconds to answer your question and even then it probably wouldn't be a solid answer. So when consulting Libby (a really close friend of mine) on what to write about next, it didn't take her long to respond with a single word that is exactly what my summer has revolved around. Forgiveness. Also known as a life lesson that has been brewing inside of me but I was just too prideful to admit it. She knows me so well. She knows what I have experienced, and what was needed to put those things behind me. Forgiveness. I just love that girl. 

I feel as though this word isn't used enough these days. People resort to bottling their feelings up and tucking them away or holding grudges for the rest of their lives. And when it is, it's used in a light manor that does not provide justice to the overwhelming peace this word brings. As usual, I consulted my best friend, the online dictionary, and discovered that forgiveness is a verb that means to "stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake." I'm not sure how that makes you feel, but it makes me feel pretty guilty. Guilty because there are people in my life whom I have built an abundant amount of resent and anger towards because of things they have done. Just like it says. Common sense would tell me to forgive them. And then usually I would respond with saying "it's easier said than done." True statement. 

This is when the golden rule comes into my mind. "Treat others how you want to be treated." If I make a mistake, I surely do not want someone to look down on me or hate me for the rest of my life because of that mistake. (I know what you're thinking. There is not a mistake that is unforgivable. Every mistake is always forgivable and rarely excused from our memories forever.) 

So what's so hard about reciprocating that to the people in our life who deserve it most? We especially need to forgive each other. Because when you intend to forgive, you heal part of the pain. But when you forgive, you heal completely. It is not an act that benefits only the one receiving it. You will probably receive more from it considering the fact that it has the potential to mean absolutely nothing to the taker. For it is a deed designed for those with strength. "Steady is the hand that comes to terms with the lessons it has had to learn." 

Don't for one second think that this is a piece of cake for me too. I have struggled with this for far too long. But like I said before, this summer has opened doors, windows, and any other crevice in my life that has been filled with resentment. Those spaces are now vacant. My anger has been evicted and I am beginning to move in with things that only put a smile on my face. 

Contrary to what society tells us most of the time, this IS something you should try at home. I dare you. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDdV_x513dc

I have made mistakes

Stumbled upon this song today and it has been on repeat ever since. If I had to choose a soundtrack to my life, this song would most likely represent my high school years, or at least one of them. Just listen to it. You won't regret it, I promise. 

Home away from home

I feel as if it has been AGES since I wrote to you last. Twelve days ago seems like an eternity. And I guess it would be to someone (me) who initially planned to blog at least three times a week. Clearly, I have some work to do as far as that is concerned.

Antyways! I am thoroughly enjoying my stay in Charlotte. I have become a little more dare-devilish than I was when I first arrived. When I say "dare-devilish" I mean I drove to the South Park Mall all on my own. And I took a trip to my new favorite place to be, Amelie's.

Imagine in your mind a perfect display of french pastries. Now add into the mix a plethora of authentic paintings and sources of light all combined into a space the size of four or five living rooms combined. (I am dimensionally challenged, hence the reason for my peculiar comparison.) Oh and it is open 24 hours a day. Jennie says that it is the hangout of the cool, hipster musicians who need a place to go after their shows in the wee hours of the morning. I have yet to visit at 2am though.

Amelie's is one of the many places in Charlotte I am sure that I will grow to love just as I loved the unique assets of Beaufort. Much to my parents dismay, this place is starting to feel more and more like home. It didn't take long at all for me to get comfortable with my surroundings and the…. so-to-say 'different' individuals around me. I no longer feel the need to use my GPS when commuting to the gym or the grocery store. Nick and Jennie may have to shove me out along with all my things at the end of the summer. Mom and Dad might have to drag me out by my feet. Can't I just skip the intricate formulas and equations of my last year of high school and graduate in June? I don't see a problem with that at all.

The Charlotte Chapter

(Insert cliche skyline picture here)

Day 4

I’m sure most of you are wondering why it has taken me so long to document my first few days in the lovely Charlotte, NC. Clearly my counting of days starts at four instead of one. (I promise I can count.) It is not due to the fact that I have been busy every second since I arrived or that I did not want to write. It is simply because I have little to say. That sounds like a bad thing. But it is actually very good. This place that I get the privilege of calling home for the next seven weeks has left me at a loss for words. Until now!

I have spent the last four days doing my best to take all of this in. Yes, I have visited Charlotte many times before. However, my trips never lasted more than a mere seven days. In the past that has been just enough time for me to make many trips to my favorite place, Yoforia, take a much-needed trip to the South Park mall, and participate in a few third-wheeling Netflix movie nights with one of my favorite couples. But not this time around! I am here for a whopping seven weeks. That gives me plenty of time to explore, experience the city life, drive my brother-in-law crazy, meet some cool people, and maybe even focus on what the heck I want to do with the rest of my life. As of right now, I have no idea. I’ll get there. Eventually.

It seems as though everything here is…. cooler. The smell of the fresh rain on the pavement is much more appealing than it is in Beaufort. (By the way, it did rain the day I came here. Hmmm, wonder what that means?) Although a symbol for tragedy, the ringing siren of a speeding ambulance is 10x more euphonious than it is back home. I know that is terrible to say, but I’m just being honest. Red lights here are so much more entertaining. They become a window into the lives of complete strangers. I am referring to the not-so-secretive nose-pickers, dashboard drummers, screaming children, and those girls who forget that their windows are rolled down as they sing at the top of their lungs to the song that is playing on the radio. Those are the kind of people I’m talking about. And they are all part of the beautiful chaos that I speak so fondly of these days.  

Obviously I am getting some quality time with three of my favorite human beings. I know I say that people are my favorites a lot, but they really are. Getting to wake up to Everly’s sweet face every morning ensures the fact that I will NEVER be able to be in a sour mood while I am here. Getting to laugh and just spend time with my sister, Jennie has really enabled our relationship to grow. I’m not saying that it has ever been bad, cause it hasn’t. It has just been taken to a greater level. Every stream of words that flows out of Nick’s mouth is well thought and almost always hilarious. He is just that awesome. Basically what I am trying to say is that of all people I could choose to spend my summer with, I choose them. There is no other way to put it.

Looking back, I realize that I may have been a bit dramatic when saying goodbye to Beaufort for the summer. But I’m not sure you realize what a big step this is for me. Most of my goodbyes were to people I didn’t want to say goodbye to and some of them I never actually did. I have left behind all I’ve ever known for a place and people that I’ve never known. That’s the exciting part! I don’t know where I am going when I take three rights and two lefts. I don’t know the people that ride past me when I am enjoying the swing on the front porch. I don’t know the cashier working at the grocery store. But I assure you that by the end of the summer I will. I will know all of their names and probably their dog’s name too.

Here’s to seven weeks filled with spontaneous moments and new friends. Skyscraper-lit strolls through Uptown and even more Netflix movie nights. Mid-day naps with Everly by my side and hysterical games of “Heads-Up” after dinner. Here’s to the next 41 days that will always be remembered as the summer I lived in Charlotte, NC.