Infatuation

I feel as though my topic of discussion has repeatedly been my wide-eyed gaze of my future. I will not apologize for this. However, I will recognize it.

Queen City (Charlotte, NC)

When you spend a great deal of time in the city that will soon be part of your future, the thoughts concerning the "what if's" and "maybe's" are inevitable. You take a picture of the moonlit skyline with your eyes considering the fact that before long, that view will not be such a distant memory. The left turns and roundabouts become somewhat of a second nature to you. The price of a large chocolate mousse cup at your favorite french bakery has been memorized and the change is prepared before you approach the cash register. You have begun to compile the perfect playlist that corresponds with the atmosphere in which you stand. And with those melodies, you craft scenarios in your mind that orchestrate themselves at just the right moment in the music.

Things become familiar.

Meaning "well- known from long or close association", this word that is often used in a casual manner embodies a world of curiosity all in its own. After all, curiosity is the root of change. We continue to move forward, doors are opened, and windows are closed. Simply because we are curious, and curiosity leads to alternate paths.

I become curious. Things become familiar. And from those questions and their appropriate answers, comes my life. A life that is thrilling because I have managed to wonder (and sometimes get a little lost) in the right direction. And that is a life that I am quite infatuated with.

7,225,193,621

At this moment in time, there are 7,225,193,521 people on planet Earth. By the time you take your next breath, that number will have increased. Some are lost. Some are coming home. Some craft lies in order to make it through the day. Some cannot manage to escape the truth. Some are cradling a broken heart. While others are reminiscing on the happiest moments in life. Each of these individuals has a different desire that God has placed in their heart. Each has a different point at which their vulnerability is triggered. And out of that seven billion people in the world, all you need is one.

Imagine a moment in your future when all of the scenarios you played out in your head while sitting in the desk of your high school finally play themselves out. A moment when the combination of these perfect moments become a thing you call your life. It is one of the greatest times of your existence and you get to experience it with one person. Who is standing next to you? Is it the little boy from your first grade class that always had his finger lodged up his nose? Is it the guy you always noticed strolling across the lawn of your college campus but never really took the time to learn his name? Or is it the man that frustrated you at the stop light three months ago? Who is to blame for the happiest moments in your life? Unlike most questions, this is one amongst few that cannot be answered in advance.

I am fortunate enough to have a friend that will tolerate my philosophies and opinions. Without Caitlin, I would be a complicated cluster of frustration, excitement, and genius ideas trapped in the body of an eighteen-year-old female. (Which, if you ask me, sounds like a dangerous concoction.) Earlier this week we were discussing the fact that matters have drastically changed over time. Yes, I know, that is the understatement of the century. I'll explain.

For many years now, I have listened as my parents have repeatedly told their perfect fairytale. Things were much simpler then. Relationships were not built upon the liking of an Instagram post and they were certainly not established by the current relationship status on Facebook. "Love" was not a word that was used too lightly. It was a word that described the feeling one felt when they had found their "person". Their second set of ears, their third arm, their significant other. It was/is apparent that within a few times of being in each other's company, there had never been something so crystal clear as the fact that they belonged together. I guess one could compare it to the feeling you get when you find the perfect pair of shoes, but on a level of intensity that is all its own. But the more I pondered these fairytale-like happenings, the more I realized that the world no longer revolves in this direction. Relationships are rarely built on the hearts of those involved. Instead, they rely on circumstances, mistakes, and pending opportunities to decide for them. Doesn't seem right does it? I didn't think so either. And I wish I could say that I have solved at least one of the world's problems. But the truth is, I have just as many questions as I did before the first word of this post.

Seven billion people in the world, and sometimes you only need one. Will you recognize the authenticity of infatuation when you discover it? Better yet, will you be courageous enough to pursue it?

compliments of BillieJoe and Jeremy Photography!

Bring it on!

Crazy things have been happening around here!

My sister is pregnant with Baby Stills number two! We have the privilege of meeting this sweet boy in May. Everly has been such an incredible addition to our lives. Watching her enormous personality flourish has been a blast. It is difficult for me to imagine that I could possibly love another tiny human as much as I love her. But our love is multiplied, not divided. (You like that math reference?)

I received this thing in the mail called an "acceptance letter" from Winthrop University. I'm not really sure what all the fuss is about. It was just a piece of paper that began with "Congratulations" and ended with "Welcome to Winthrop University". Which means that I AM GOING TO COLLEGE. Checks have been sent, papers have been signed, and plans have been made. I guess all of those minor panic attacks concerning report cards and the late nights spent studying really did pay off in the end. I was the girl that usually rolled her eyes when that cliche statement was thrown into a conversation. Words cannot describe how overjoyed I am to be nearing the next chapter in my life. However, the more time I spend enjoying Beaufort, the more I begin to retract my negative statements about this seaside town. I purposefully choose not to think about the fact that in five short months I will be watching my childhood and the life I have created here (best friends and family) through the rearview mirror. And as much as I hate to admit it, I will miss home. There will be no more evening jogs down Bay Street, no more perfectly painted sunset views over the glassy water on my way home everyday, and no more late arrivals due to the bridge opening. Some may see it as a bit depressing. But here is how I view the situation. There are going to be new routes to run, a different perspective of the sunset, and plenty of other things that will cause me to be tardy at the most inconvenient time possible (I am sure). It is time for a change in scenery. Bring it on Rock Hill!

And last but most definitely not least. There is a flippin' graduation cap AND gown hanging in my closet. Green and white, with a sticker on the package that has my first, middle, and last name written neatly on the front. There are approximately 60 days until I zip that sucker up and trek across the perfectly manicured football field to the seat that is designated just for me. Twelve years of eraser shavings and papers graded in red ink is coming to an end. We may want to go ahead and start making donations of tissue boxes to the Walker residence because I have a feeling that this will not be a dry-eyed experience for my parents. After all, I am the last little birdie to leave the nest. Someone buy them another dog, please.

There is not one ounce of fear in this girl's conscience at the moment. And I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible. Seeing that I am in a full sprint towards the finish line, there is no time to stop and consider the what if's and maybe's. Let's go people. Let's get this show on the road!

BillieJo and Jeremy Photography. Check them out!