A post that isn't about New York

I have caught myself staring at this picture in every second of spare time that has come my way. Maybe it's the fact that there is a cozy fire nestled behind our backs, symbolizing that Fall is in full swing and so is my cold-weather wardrobe (which I love most). Or perhaps because this is one of my favorite moments with Reece and I am so glad someone captured it. Of course, maybe because he is so handsome. And although those are all promising possibilities, I do not think they are the sole reasons as to why this picture is etched into my memory and probably my pupils by now since I have looked at it so often.

There is not a lot of steadiness going on in my life right now. My feelings concerning class and alarm clocks aren't steady. My "I'm going to eat healthy today" attitude is not steady. My bank account couldn't be farther from steady. Except this one. He seems to be the most steady thing about my life right now. If you look close enough, I am sure it looks as though I am clinging to his arm for dear life. Not because I think he's going anywhere, he's not. But because I feel the need now, more than ever, to hold the ones I love and hold them close. That's a good enough reason, right?

It's funny how quickly your thought process changes when you fall in love. Death had never been on my radar. (Pause. I realize this post is more morbid than that of my usual upbeat, I heart New York frame of mind. But life isn't always upbeat. And I am trying to be a little less "life is like a perfect instagram post".) Of course, I was aware of it and knew that somewhere down the road I would be confronted by it. But with each obituary and news report I see, death moves it's way to the top of my list of things to be afraid of. It is a harsh thing and rarely comes with an explanation. I cannot bear the thought of losing someone that I love. And I would be lying if I told you that I've come to terms with my fears and realized that ultimately, it is out of my control. Just a thought. A rather dark one, at that. But these dark thoughts of mine turn into reasons as to why I should smile a little more today.